Praise For Pops.

“Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children.”

-Furious Styles, Boyz N The Hood

I just got off the phone with my Pops. Called him early to wish him a Happy Father's Day. I I had to beat my siblings to the call. Petty, I know. I felt bad because I woke him up. I could tell that he was still sleep when I called, he said that he was up all night watching boxing and game of thrones. I know he was probably pissed when his phone rang that early but he played it off.

I told him Happy Father's Day. He tells me, “Thanks Son, you, your brother and sister made me a Father, so I thank yall.” I laughed and said, “Well you made me, so I sho appreciate you.” I told him that I loved him and to go back to sleep, that I would call him later.

That's the type of Father that he is. Selfless. Even on the day designed to be about him he wants to make it about his kids. He doesn't need to thank us, without us, he would still exist, we wouldn't without him.  

One time I asked my Dad what he thought his purpose was. He responded quick, without hesitation saying that his purpose was to be a Father. He said that he always wanted to be one, that he prayed for a family when he was young. He LOVES being a Pops. He takes pride in it. He's a good ass Daddy too. Side note, I think black people are the only people that still call our Daddy, Daddy no matter how old we get. I may be wrong, but I've never heard it from anybody else. 

I know how blessed I am to have a Pops that WANTS to be a Pops. We aren't a burden on him. In fact, I think he is his happiest when he's helping somebody. And I've messed up so much that I've I always kept him happy. He's helped me more than I could ever re pay. Whenever I need some advice, he's always got it for me. Sometimes it might not be what I want to hear, but he's always honest with me. Sometimes brutally honest. Well, all the time he is brutally honest. I love this about him, when I was younger I used to think he was cold, now I know that he's just not gonna bullshit me. If I ask his opinion, that's exactly what he's gonna give me, whether I like it or not. I've learned that I've gotta have thick skin dealing with Pops. He's definitely not going to tell you what you want to hear. He's been keeping it 100 since before people said keep it 100.

Pops and I are closer now than ever. Even though we don't get to see each other that often. My biggest regret in being away from Kansas City is that I don't get to see my family on a regular basis. So earlier this year when I had to go home for three months, I really wanted to make the most of it and spend as much time with my Pops as I could. He's a long distance truck driver and is only home 2 days a week, tops. So, every Sunday we would go have breakfast at his favorite soul food restaurant. When we would walk in, everybody would be yelling his name like Norm on Cheers. For the next hour and a half to two hours, he would just school me. We would have great conversations. We talked about everything, from how to deal with these crazy women, to religion, raising pit bulls, to sports, to politics, to death. Not only would he school me, but he would listen too. This was new. I realized that he was finally seeing me as a man and not a boy. One Sunday, one of the waitresses came up and said excuse me, “Can I bring my sons here so you can talk to them too? Their no good daddy ain't never taught them shit!” We all laughed, but I was thinking “Hell naw! This is my time, your sons are on their own.” She was flirting. Trying to see if Pops would bite. We just laughed her off and kept talking. I will remember the lessons that I learned over those chicken and waffles forever, hopefully we'll be able to have a lot more. Now we talk on the phone a few times a week. That will have to do until I can see him again.

I know how rare it is to have a good Father. A lot of my friends, don't have their Dads in their lives. This has been the case since I was young. I've never taken this for granted. I know that he is just doing what he is supposed to do, but a lot of “men” don't do it. My boys love being around my Dad. He talks to them the same way that he talks to me. Gives them the same lessons that I get. He knows that if they don't hear it from him, that it's a good chance that they won't hear it. They all appreciate him for that, so do I. 

I couldn't imagine having a better Pops. He's like Uncle Phil, James Evans, John Q, Mufasa and Dr. Huxtable all in one. (Not Bill Cosby, Dr. Huxtable) I've learned so much from him. I've received so much. The greatest gift that he's given me has been the example that he set. After seeing what a great father looks like, I have no excuse. I pray that whenever I get jumped in to DaddyGang that my Son will feel about me the same way that I feel about my Pops.